Monday, November 12, 2012

The World's Worst Christmas Ornament

Every time I come down to the US I find one thing so tacky, so incredibly gauche, so, well, awful, that it rises to the top of the societal litter pile. Now before my American readers get upset and decide to leave me nasty comments, I want to say that Canada has its own societal litter pile. It's just that we have different garbage piled in ours than you Americans have in yours. I am sure that foreigners arriving in Canada are just as appalled at some of what they encounter there as I am by what I see when I go South of 49. Here is this trip's winner loser.

My mom received a Christmas gift flyer in the mail from a local store. She was flipping through its pages when suddenly I heard her say something I won't quote. The paraphrase would be along the lines of, "Oh my, what will they think of next." Possibly with a bit more colour than that.

Here, on the top of page 7, is an ornament that claims to be from heaven.


I think the GPS on this one got the source location wrong by about 180 degrees.

23 comments:

  1. Holy crap! That thing takes the prize for being hilariously tacky. Who is the "I" of the quatrain? Are dead people supposed to give these as Christmas presents? And what sort of store sells these lugubrious monstrosities, anyway? I've lived in the US all my life and have never seen anything like it. My neighborhood must have better taste than I thought it did!
    -- stashdragon

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    1. Oh how I wish you had been here when I was writing this post. I was searching for great adjectives and just couldn't come up with anything that would do it justice. I love lugubrious monstrosity! The most surprising thing is this flyer came from a very well-respected local store. I'm glad I could make you feel better about your neighbourhood. :-)

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  2. I'm Catholic, and one of my grandmothers is not religious. To make up for this and keep up with my other mega-religious grandma, she used to buy me all kinds of religious paraphenalia. I feel like this is something I'll be getting this year. ;)

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    1. Ha! I hope I haven't ruined one of your Christmas surprises by giving you a sneak peak! :-)

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  3. Can you imagine the marketing meeting?

    VP of sales: "They're not dead ... they're just an untapped segment we haven't considered."

    This might be the funniest, cheesiest thing I've seen in my life. I seriously almost fell of my chair while I was laughing.

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    1. And I almost fell off my chair laughing about your marketing meeting line! :-)

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    2. "Cheesy" - that's the right word! "Tacky" implies congenital bad taste, but "cheesy" describes a commercially motivated effort to address the bad-taste market.

      Your marketing meeting had me falling off my chair too!
      -- stashdragon

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  4. Um...I really don't know what to say. My first reaction was not that it was an ornament from the dead but rather a more festive way of leaving 'the note' for friends and family. I know...sometimes my mind goes to disturbing ends.

    By the way...not offended at all! I acknowledge that this country can be queen/king of tacky. It's a statement of fact.

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    1. Oh dear. I hadn't even considered that meaning.

      Canadians can be tacky too, but Americans just have a way of being tacky with pizzazz.

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    2. 'tacky with pizzazz' - sounds like a slogan!

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    3. It sort of does, and there are so many things I can think of that fall into that category. None as bad as this ornament though!

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  5. Well, the holly is nice..but, yeah, it's a horrible idea...too tacky.

    Good news for Canadians, it's available through Hallmark. :)

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    1. Are you serious? This is really available through Hallmark?

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    2. It seems to be available from some Hallmark franchises, but not from the official Hallmark site itself. That's a little less disappointing.

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  6. You made my day laughing then I googled and apart from the easily found ornaments there is a whole poem
    and website....
    http://www.merrychristmasfromheaven.com/
    Goodness Gracious me....

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    1. Oh my goodness! I hadn't thought of Googling it. I know I shouldn't go look, but I probably won't be able to stop myself. A whole website??

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  7. That is so crazy! I'd like to know if and when that was really ever purchased! I mean, WHO would buy this? I'm guessing one who wants to comfort another, after the passing of a special person or pet, but I'm not sure it would work! I hope I never received one of these!

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    1. Isn't it the tackiest thing ever? It is just plain creepy.

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  8. That's bad! Someone will get that gift and that will be the silent moment in the room.

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    1. Silent, then possibly filled with the same colourful language my mom used when she saw the ad in the sale flyer. :-)

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