Monday, November 5, 2012

Curly, Moe and Larry

I have fallen into a regular routine as far as my gym time goes. I drag myself there every Monday, Wednesday and Friday morning. Right now I am not doing cardio. I walk every day so don't really need to add it onto my gym time. For now I am focusing on the weight machines. After all, that is the reason I signed up at the Y in the first place. I am there to keep my bones and body from falling apart as I grow older. That's it. I don't want big muscles. I don't want to sculpt any body parts. I don't feel the need to work on every single muscle every time I walk through the door. I am on Plan Basic.

The same can't be said for some of the other regulars. There are all sorts of people who show up while I am there, ranging from hard core to rather sad (that would be the anorexic woman whose legs look like twigs). Out of all of them there are three that stick out more than the others. I tend to think of them as The Three Gym Stooges - Mr. Suit, Mr. Rip and Mr. Strut.

Mr. Rip gets his name not because he is ripped. Rather, it is because he has worn the same shorts every day since I started going, and they have a huge rip down one side. I have come to the conclusion that either he isn't married (if he was, his wife would be too humiliated to let him be seen in public like that), or he is married but leaves the house for the gym in the morning before his wife gets up and she has no clue her husband is so exposed.

Mr. Strut reminds me of the black widow spiders that live just outside our front door. They give me the creeps, but I find I can't keep from sneaking a peek when I walk by them. Mr. Strut is one of those hulked out guys with muscles so big you think they might tear his skin, and more tattoos than you would think could possibly fit on one person. It's clear he acquired the tattoos before the muscles, because they are not really individual drawings any more. They are just a hideous mass of blues and greens stretched around his bulging biceps. When Mr. Strut enters the gym he does just that. Struts. Then when he gets over to the free weights, which are surrounded by mirrors, he never takes his eyes off himself. How weird is that? And to make matters worse this guy is a grunter. I get that grunting is part of weight lifting, but really. This guy takes it to a whole new level. I find myself repulsed and fascinated at the same time.

Mr. Suit is the guy I find most perplexing. This is what OCD looks like when it goes to the gym. He goes around to various machines and free weight stations, clipboard in hand, checking off things as he does them. Here's the strange part. It wasn't until I had been going to the gym for a few weeks that I happened to run into him just as he was arriving at the building. I couldn't believe it. He was dressed in a suit and tie, gym bag in hand. First of all, almost nobody in Kamloops wears a suit and tie except for maybe a lawyer. But the question I have is why? Why would someone go to the trouble of putting on their business clothes before heading to the gym and then change into their workout clothes? I have seen him several more time since that first sighting and it is the same thing every time. He looks like he is headed into court to defend a case rather than to the gym to work out. Has he not figured out he could wear his gym clothes to the Y and carry his business clothes to put on when he's done working out? All I know is if indeed he is a lawyer I won't be hiring him any time soon.

While the gym certainly has its place in my attempt to stay fit, it will never replace my number one activity, which is walking. I'll take being out in nature over spending time in a sweaty gym with Curly, Moe and Larry any day!





12 comments:

  1. Pretty ginko leaves!

    (I have little to say on the gym guys. They disturb me.)

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    1. I think that's why places like Curves got started. :-)

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  2. Ha!Ha! Too funny, as for Mr. Suit, maybe he works night shift and he's just getting off work? But then, what would a suited man be doing on night shift? Your observations are the reason I prefer to go to a ladies' only fitness place! Not that there aren't strange sightings there, but not quite as weird as what you described (so well!). Good for you for getting out 3x a week faithfully. I have yet to make the 3rd time a habit.

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    1. I have seen Mr. Suit leave the gym all dressed up, so it isn't a case of him working night shift. Guys like these are definitely why ladies' only gyms exist. Although, I have to say I have seen a couple of woman body builders at the Y too. But they don't grunt or wear clothes with gaping holes in them.

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  3. This cracked me up...especially the sentence about the black widow! Ha! Yeah, I don't do gyms for a variety of reasons but this post contains many of them. Although...sometimes it is just fun to people watch since it is one place you get all kinds. I mean, you did get a hilarious blog post out of it! Kudos for you for going 3 times a week and for maintaining your walks outside! Love that picture.

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    1. This post is the reason I avoided gyms for so many years myself. And there is a part of me that is thinking I should just buy a home weight training machine and then I wouldn't have to keep going. But it sure wouldn't be as interesting!

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  4. Haha, people watching can be fun or scary or a mix of both. When my wife and I used to go to the Y we occasionally ran into the two little pigs--two guys who hung out at the water fountain. They pretended to take turns getting drinks so they could get a better angle to ogle women on a particular piece of equipment. The last time we saw them I decided to have a little fun at their expense...it's a long story, but my wife was convinced they left because of me. It was fun. :)

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    1. You can't stop your story there! What did you do to the two guys? I sure hope the answer is in your next blog post. :-)

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  5. Just catching up here ... it's hard to keep up with you 'post every day' folks! Totally with you on the walking, and I really should walk more. I used to manage at least six miles a day, whippets and dachshunds in tow, but my rheumatoid arthritis has taken a particular dislike to my feet and lately I struggle to manage two miles. I've pondered resorting to the gym ... it might be worth it for the entertainment factor ;)

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    1. Two miles a day is good! That must take about a half hour, and if you are doing that daily it is a good workout. I don't know how you walk your whippets and dachshund together! When i walk Fergus and Jenny together they are constantly getting tangled up. Maybe that will get better as Fergus outgrows puppyhood.

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  6. I've done the gym membership thing once before and I won't be going back. I just need a good pair of walking shoes and my yoga mat for home. Plus, it's my favorite time of year for walking/hiking.

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    1. I can understand why people stop going. First of all, it is a big time commitment. Just getting there and back eats up a chunk of the day, never mind the time actually spent there working out. Then there are the other factors such as sweaty, grunting guys. It has me seriously considering buying my own home gym. I'm with you on the walking shoes! And I would love to give yoga a try but need to find a "yoga for inflexible dummies" group. :-)

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